“When we are willing to stay even a moment with uncomfortable energy, we gradually learn not to fear it.” ~Pema Chodron
This time of year I always like to think about all of my blessings and all things good and bad that have happened throughout the year. I have seen a prominent ebb and flow of “good” years and “bad” years. Or rather, productive years that are jam packed and years that I felt like nothing significant happened. This was one of those years that was jam packed… I turned 30, got engaged to the most wonderful man, finished my master’s degree, started a new job, got married to said wonderful man, and took my first trip out of the country. The last couple of years were “slow” years but all building up to what happened in this year.
With everything going on this year was not a big year of yoga. I taught my classes but didn’t attend my beloved Ashtanga classes quite as regularly as I would like. This was the year of home practice for 15 minutes at a time… when I found time. The hardest part about that is that when I finally did “find the time” it was exactly what I needed to treat myself when I was stressed. I have realized that my “slow” years are usually full of yoga and despite the lack of other things going on in my life, I feel really strong and connected through my yoga practice. That’s the wonderful thing about yoga… if I neglect it for a while it’s always there waiting for me when I decide to come back.
Sometimes when you’re in a “slow” year and not really happy where you are it’s hard to practice presence and not worry about what’s next. When in all reality, it’s okay to anticipate what’s next. It’s okay to prepare and make moves to be a better you. What’s not okay is to sit and wish and hope that things will just change. Go get it, be the change you want to see in your life. You are the driving force. For me, 2008 and 2009 were my “slow” years. I had just found my yoga practice in 2008 and it was taking me on a whirlwind trip of emotions trying to figure out how to get out of the hole I was standing in. My first move was to go back to school and finish my bachelors degree. But with 2 years of school only adding up to 2 semesters of credit I felt so small next to a huge mountain. Standing on the other side of that mountain I see that it all started with that one step. At the top of that mountain was not only a bachelor’s degree, but a masters, a career, and a whole new life built around it… and it was all because of that one small step; with my computer in my lap searching for a way to go to school and keep my desk job.
Will I encounter more “slow” years? Absolutely. But I know as long as I keep pushing forward those slow years will be followed by the years when I don’t even realize I’m in a “good” year because it’s so full of joy.